


I'm sorry

by N_Chamomile



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 07:27:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9591755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N_Chamomile/pseuds/N_Chamomile
Summary: Mc used to be in a relationship with Zen, but after being bullied by his fans, things changed - Zen changed and so MC is left alone with the wounds of her past. The one who tries to mend her wounds is Yoosung, but will their relationship turn into a romantic one or is the past going to ruin it all? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧





	1. Chapter 1

Life without him, is something can hardly imagine. Just picturing all the times, we used to chat and the conversations we had and the first time he saw me in flesh. Maybe that time when he saw me, was actually the moment where I knew that I was in love with him. How he got all excited and just how big his eyes got. He reminded me of how excited children would get when you gave them something they really wanted. Did his expression mean the same – did he really truly want me?

 

Someone so … normal like me? If I had to be honest I was constantly afraid of how he would react to me once he would get to meet me. But at some point I was waiting in anticipation for the day where we could be together in our own small world. Because maybe, just maybe, after all the times Jaehee was, how can I say…mean and very, hum, possessive of Zen, I didn’t know what to do. At one point I tried to understand her, but the more I tried the harder it was. Being doubted and not trusted left a scar in my heart which I knew wouldn’t heal so quickly. It was painful, trying to help the organisation when at the same time, the very people you wanted to help, did background checks on you and didn’t trust you. 

 

Zen trusted me with ease, he always said he just had a feeling that I was trustworthy and a good person. The more I interacted with all of the members of the rfa, the more everyone warmed up to me, I was starting to feel welcome and maybe even … loved?

 

But there was always Jaehee, always with her “if I may be so bold…” yada yada, I get it you don’t like me. It’s hard being nice to someone like her, when I actually really wanted to be her friend. But how can any relationship work, where there is no trust. And honestly I was starting to get fed up with how she would meddle constantly, just because she was a fan of Zen’s. I do understand that she was only protecting him, but there is a line between wanting what is best for someone and being possessive. In all that protecting she forgot about the one person she cared for – Zen. She forgot that he too has feelings, that he too is human and that if his fans did love him for who he was, they would accept the fact that he would maybe someday be with someone who loves and cherishes him. Also – his fans are supposed to love him for his work and not just for his looks. Maybe that is one reason, for why Zen liked me?  
Because frankly, I wasn’t his fan, didn’t know about him. 

But I cared for him and his passion for his work. He is dedicated, strong and works hard in everything he does. That is why he so amazing and that is why, I fell in love with him.

 

It was nice how everyone in the rfa gave us their blessing, after a while even Jaehee warmed up to me. To this day, she is still at times is weird and goes on and on about how we should wait with every small thing in our relationship but I don’t mind, I see in her eyes that she is my friend and that now – she even means all what she says not to turn me away, but in a way to protect me.

 

This – me thinking about the past and reminiscing about how lucky I was is something that as of lately would often do. I would sit on the couch with a warm cup of tea in my lap and just think about everything. Before that happened all of us were happy.

 

The sudden ringing of the doorbell woke me from my thoughts and I walked towards it, I already knew who it was. As I opened the door and welcome my visitor with a big smile.

 

“Hello MC, how have you been lately? Is everything alright, can you manage living all by yourself? Hopefully you don’t feel to bored without any company.” 

Spoke the cute blonde. At his question I only shook my head and showed him to step inside, he sighed slightly and nodded. I was about to go and prepare him a cup of tea, when he stopped me in mid of my tracks and took my hand.

 

“MC, I know that after all of that you don’t want to … see him or her and I am glad that you are even staying in touch with the rest of us. I feel like we all … weren’t good friends to you, we could have protected you better.”

 

I saw how his eyes watered and squeezed his hand at that and gave him a small smile. 

 

“I miss your voice, I miss your laugh MC. What those fans did to you is unforgivable.”

 

Ah, that is right … I was bullied by Zen’s fans and … they almost killed me and the result from all that trauma was that I became a selective mute and I could only speak with some people. When I did speak though – I only spoke out a few words, but after some time I couldn’t talk anymore, I just stopped. At times the only one I could speak to was Zen, but after some time, when he started to change I couldn’t even talk to him anymore. He did feel responsible for everything that happened and as I was hospitalised. Zen would often visit me and bring me gifts and talk all about his work and how he missed me, missed … us. 

 

Then after a while the visits would stop and I would often just be all alone in that white room. At those times all I had were the thoughts in my head that would slowly make me go insane. One thing that did keep me going was my window. Though it was painful to see the time fly, to see how the world was still moving even after all those horrible things happened to me. But I loved it, I loved how the sky would change in colour, how it would look different at different times in the day. 

 

As naïve as I was, I would always turn to the door and wait for someone, anyone that I knew to visit me and help me forget all about that time. That horrible time when I tried my hardest not to let Zen know just how much his fans hurt me, how mean they would get and just how mean Jaehee could get. If the rfa member knew just how much nasty things were behind the scenes, would they still claim to love each other? To love me? 

 

I believed them nonetheless. I was aware of the secrets and the things V hid from everyone, I just didn’t know how big these secrets actually were – so big that it endangered lives. But I loved them, I truly did, each and every one of them. Even if Jahee did those unspeakable things, even if Zen left me, I loved them and this love that I felt for them has only given me more pain. I believed in them, in my lovely members.

 

The rfa members, just didn’t have the time to visit and I understood. I knew that they would visit if they could, deep inside I knew. At least the ones who knew what happened could have visited. The only one who didn’t know was Yoosung – all of them thought that he would not be able to handle what happened to me. I understood and tried to be strong. But after all that happened and after all that they did to me it still it hurt and I wasn’t as strong as they thought I was. I was slowly crumbling and I was starting to loose myself.

 

As I gazed at my wrists that held light marks from that time, when I was weak and didn’t find any other way, Yoosung gently took hold of my wrist and kissed it. Ha…Yoosung, after they finally told him what happened he changed. All that anger that he felt for V and the organisation turned to hate, he hated them all. He was so mad at them, for betraying his trust, for letting all of this happen. He only stayed for my sake. He would run to me so many times, it turned to daily visits and he would stay for a long time or I would visit him and watch him play LOLOL. His presence calmed me and I wasn’t as scared. He grew to be taller, stronger and muscular. His shoulders were broader and I felt safer. I looked at him and no matter how much he might have grown I still saw the cutie Yoosung that would always blush at my compliments.

Even now there was a slight dust of pink on his cheeks. And he spoke up while holding both of my hands; “I would have protected you if I knew, I would try to save you, would try to make the pan go away. I am so sorry that I couldn’t, I am sorry that you are hurting. I wish I was you knight.”

 

He led me to the couch and wrapped his arms around me and held me, maybe he thought that I was going to cry.

 

“You can…you can let it out if you want.”

 

I shook my head, I couldn’t’ cry anymore. All that happened has passed and I even if my life has changed I tried to live on. Zen might have left me, but I still had the comfort of my friends Yoosung and Jumin. Both of them have dedicated their time to visit me and make sure that I was alright.   
Just as I thought of Jumin, Yoosung asked me; “Did Jumin visit you lately? How long has it been since he was here?”. I pulled back from the hug and showed him with my finger the number three – signalising that it has been three days. A slow hum escaped Yoosung.

 

“What about him? Does he ever contact you? Or…?”

 

I put my finger on his lips and only shook my head and after a long while feeling comfortable to speak up, I opened my mouth and in a hushed voice I said; 

“You are here.” 

He wore a shocked expression on his face, which instantly softened into a warm smile and tears in his eyes he embraced me again, but now stronger and … it felt warmer.

 

“And here I will stay! I promise to protect you, from now on I will be there!”

 

I wanted to cherish this sweet moment, feeling warm and safe in the arms of someone who cherished me so much. But this moment would surely pass – for a message was sent from an unknown number on my phone and the only thing it said was; 

 

“I’m sorry.”


	2. Dried up tears on your silken sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of their night spent together, was Yoosung able to mend MC's heart?

The sun was shining through her window, all the signs of what happened at night were lying all across them. Their clothes were lying around the bed and some furniture seemed to have signs of usage on them. Both of their bodies were filled with love-bites. The whole room smelled like them and he, he wouldn’t have it any other way. He was sitting up and as he breathed in, he smelled her apricot shampoo smell and his musky one and it gave him a strong feeling of safety.

He couldn’t believe that he was there with her, the one woman he fell for immediately after he saw her and could put all those charming and kind messages to a face. To her face – he felt bad for trying to make her be the new Rika to him when she was so much more. She wasn’t as headstrong or slightly intimidating as Rika, she was so … small, soft and kind. His whole world suddenly seemed to be much brighter with her in it. And it seemed that all of the RFA members welcomed her with arms wide open, or so it seemed. Zen took a great liking to her, which was evident in the chatrooms and at the party. Though she tried to be very neutral in the chatrooms one had to be blind not to see how she reacted to Zen’s charm. Deep inside Yoosung hoped that anyone else but Zen would have her – he knew that he could never be good enough for her, he was younger than her and she needed someone … someone more than him. But not Zen – not him, his fanbase was getting bigger and he knew from all those shoujo mangas he read that the heroine suffered immensely in such relationships. Also he knew that Jaehee would never ever let them be together. Though she said again and again that she didn’t have feelings for him, he was starting to doubt all of her remarks. But if he knew one thing for sure it was that, aside from Jaehee, all of them were smitten by her. She was so different from Rika, but like her she had a power of pulling you in, but in a kind way. All throughout the night each and every one of us, tried to talk to her numerous times and it seemed as though we fought for her attention. But she was so clueless it was almost cruel. Then as the time came to dance, she was the first one to initiate it, she grabbed Jumin by the hand and pulled him on the dance floor. At first he was flabbergasted but at the next moment, he had the most loving expression on his face. She and Jumin danced almost all night, until she went...towards him. She wore a beautiful teal dress that swished when she walked towards him and her face was the cutest he ever say, she was sweating slightly but she still wanted to dance...with him? She sang to him in the most dramatic way anyone could ever sing while joining in to the song that played: “And I need you now tonight!!!” How could someone so adorable exist? He gently took her hand in his and they spun around a few times like children and all the while she smiled at him and in that moment he knew...he wasn’t quite sure how he knew...but he just did. It wasn’t him that she choose. It hurt him so badly he could hardly breathe so he gave her a chaste kiss on her cheek. “I wish that you were mine but … the second best thing is seeing you happy with someone else.”

And he … left her, because he knew that soon...Zen would swoop in. After that night they started dating and in the beginning it seemed good, but soon Zen showed parts of him that no one knew were in him.

He was possessive and jealous at anyone talking to her, but at the same time he would cheat on her and with no other than his fans. As if that excused his behaviour. He manipulated with her and made her feel useless, so all she did was stay at home where she was supposedly safe. But soon the fans came after her, they harassed her, broke into her home, destroyed her things. The worst thing wasn’t when they hurt her, when she found out that Zen and Jaehee had an affair, it was when she was completely alone and no one, apart from Yoosung believed that Zen was capable of doing something like that. Soon Jumin joined the protection squad, he made sure she lived in a new apartment, where Zen couldn’t find her and made sure to find all those people that broke her.

But all of this is in the past, he was now here in the now with her.  
He was with her in her room, on this beautiful morning with the most beautiful woman in the whole world.  
As he lovingly looked at her he whispered, to himself...because he needed to confirm his feelings.

“I am here and I love you.”

He would have never in his life thought that he would be the one to comfort her and that they would do all those things that they did. Only in his dream was he on top of her beautiful body, bringing her pleasure making sure she would feel loved. He probably made her feel loved like no one before ever has. He can only guess, since she smiled, laughed and cried all throughout her orgasms. He recalled how shy she was at the beginning. 

She was standing close to him, only inches away from him, the top of her head was near his chest, she was playing with her fingers and looking everywhere else but his face. Then she spoke up in her small hoarse voice  
“Yoosung...Uhm...You know, it has been a while and I am not very good at it.” Her whole face was beet red and at that he gently pulled her chin up to look at her. He softly smiled at her and without saying anything just gently kissed her. Both oh his hand were holding onto her face, all the while being careful not to break her or to scare her. She slowly relaxed into the kiss and held onto his chest. She had to admit that she never was kissed in such a way, the way Zen behaved was … rather rough and wild and she was not really experienced so she just went along with it. But the way Yoosung treated her was gentle and with care, something her heart ached for. She felt how her tears rolled down her cheeks and how then Yoosung would kiss them all up.

Soon they were both naked on the bed and he admired her for such a long time it felt like an eternity, he gently grazed her body with his hands – the touches were feather light, ticklish and arousing. She let out a small mewl and at that he wore a smirk on his face that was so uncharacteristic for him but it did turn her on. His eyes were darkened with lust, but they were still were ever so gentle as they admired her.

Then he kissed all those bruises and marks on her body that all the bad people in her life left behind, all the while he was making sure they gazed into each others eyes and that made her go crazy. His eyes filled with lust, his hair dishevelled and seeing his tongue dart out and lick her body; she just couldn’t hold onto her sanity any longer, she knew that any second now she would go crazy for him. 

She stretched out her hands and signalled him to come closer, to let her embrace him, but he wouldn’t stop, he kept on kissing her, feeling her until he ravished her whole.  
And now they were in the sheets, were her tears finally dried up.

His gaze travelled to her sleeping form, she was sound asleep and she finally seemed to be at peace. He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her cheek and then his love awoke from her dreams and smiled at him and groggily spoke up.

“Yoosung, you stayed.” 

He smiled at that and grasped her hand.

Then he admitted to her in a slightly nervous voice:“Forever if possible.”

A soft giggle escaped her and she jumped up and laid on his chest, she was listening to his heart beat and drawing infinite signs with her finger on his chest. This was her answer to him and he blushed slightly at that and leaned down and kissed the top of her head. 

 

They were finally at peace under the morning sun. She stretched herself and all the while exposed her bare self, which made Yoosung blush.

“You saw it all before~” she exclaimed in a sing song voice and kissed him on the lips. 

“Mornings with you.” she exclaimed in a tone that was dripping with love and she finished at that, all the while giving him a meaningful look. 

He understood exactly what she meant; this was all she wanted, mornings with him...just like this and he nodded bashfully.

She climbed out of the bed with a wide grin and mended heart. Then she started looking for her phone, she had to know if she received any messages, since she worked for Jumin and he could be a very obnoxious boss. She grasped her phone that was laying on the table. As soon as she opened her phone she saw the unknowns senders message: “I’m sorry.” That was all it said and she was … slightly confused to say the least.

She didn’t know who it was, but if she had to guess it was either Zen or...maybe even Jaehee? She sighed deeply and remembered all that they did to her, all the grief, the sadness and sorrow they brought into her life. All those restless nights, the tears, the fights and … loneliness. Then she remembered the good parts, the smiles, laughs and … the love. She felt a tear roll down her cheek but she wiped it quickly away, she knew that it was better to let the past behind her, to move on and start to live. To start anew and not blame anyone, but it hurt so much. It hurt so badly it squeezed at her chest, it made it hard to breath and she felt how it choked her and how deep in her stomach she felt the sadness prickling her. Then she sat down, closed her eyes and tried to be strong. She tried to be a bigger person, even if all the emotions choked her. What would anyone else do? What if it’s not even them? But in the end she decided to do the thing she knew for herself to be the right one. 

Slowly she opened her eyes inhaled deeply and tried to calm her heart, then she typed for a second and clicked send.

“Me too.”

With that she said goodbye to her past and welcomed the present and future, she was no longer a prisoner of all the damage they caused. She was free and she knew it would take her a long while to heal but she had someone who loved her from the very start. She joined him soon after in the silken sheets, were the only tears that would ever flow would be the ones of joy and laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally after many requests, I have updated this fanfiction ;_;. Thank you to everyone commenting, liking my works! Hope you like this chapter and stay tuned for updates of my other works! ^_^ Love you!

**Author's Note:**

> This is Mc’s perspective throughout her relationship with Zen and how she felt with Jaehee not trusting her and being against their relationship. How did MC’s life change while she was in a relationship with Zen? Did it turn for the better or did his fame only hurt her? Read on and find out~~ Hope you like it, cuties~ ( ˘ ³˘)♡


End file.
